The Changing Landscape of National Identity Abroad
One of the most universal questions travelers face is, “Where are you from?” For many, this is a simple inquiry that sparks curiosity or nostalgia. However, for American travelers like myself, the November 2024 election marked a significant shift in how this question is received—and how I answer it. Before the election, I could confidently say, “I’m from the United States,” without hesitation. But as the political climate changed, so did the emotional weight of that response. On my first trip to the United Arab Emirates (UAE) after the election, I found myself whispering my nationality. I felt ashamed and anxious about where my country was headed. This sense of discomfort only intensified as I traveled to India and Iceland, where the reactions of others left me grappling with how to reconcile my identity with the actions of my government.
From Shame to Mortification: The Evolution of a Traveler’s Response
As I navigated these new feelings, my responses became increasingly guarded. In India, I defensively added, “But I didn’t vote for him!” after revealing my American roots. Some people laughed or nodded in understanding, while others seemed as uncomfortable as I was. By the time I reached Iceland, a country known for its progressive values and vibrant display of diversity (like the rainbow-painted main road), I was hopeless. I tried downplaying my nationality by saying I was Polish or avoiding the topic altogether. Yet, the truth always came out. Iceland’s proximity to Greenland, a country Trump infamously suggested buying, only added to my unease. I met Greenlanders during my trip and struggled not to apologize for Trump’s absurd remarks. A joke about the Faroe Islands being too small for Trump to notice lightened the mood, but my internal conflict lingered.
The Universal Struggle of Defining Identity Abroad
I was far from alone in this struggle. A quick internet search revealed countless stories of Americans—and even non-Americans—grappling with how to answer the “where are you from” question. It wasn’t just about politics; concerns about safety, privacy, and judgment often made travelers hesitate to share their nationality. Travel and etiquette experts weighed in on the best ways to handle these conversations. Their advice? Honesty is generally the best policy, even if it’s uncomfortable. Lying about being Canadian or another nationality might seem tempting, but it’s unlikely to fool anyone and could damage your credibility if the truth comes out.
Navigating Conversations with Honesty and Grace
Experts like Erin Zhurkin, author of “Plus-Size in Paris,” emphasize that hiding your nationality doesn’t help improve the image of Americans. Instead, she suggests being honest and prepared for follow-up questions. Francesca Elisabetta Owens, founder of Travel from the Inside Out, agrees, noting that your accent or lack of knowledge about the country you’re pretending to represent could give you away. If someone’s interest in your nationality feels prying or hostile, vague responses like “I’ve lived in a few different places” or “I’m just a traveler” can politely sidestep the issue. Theresa Bauman, a travel agent, shares that while she always tells the truth, she sometimes focuses on her home state to shift the conversation toward geography rather than politics.
Steering Conversations Away from Controversy
When political discussions arise, etiquette expert Lisa Marie Grotts advises having neutral responses ready. Simple phrases like “It’s complicated” or “Every country has its challenges” acknowledge the situation without taking sides. Salvador Ordorica, founder of a cultural understanding company, recommends steering the conversation toward shared experiences, like your excitement about exploring the local culture. Humor can also be a powerful tool. Zhurkin recalls using jokes like “No country is perfect” or “The people have spoken, but I’m not one of those people” to lighten the mood. If you’re comfortable expressing dissent, Bauman suggests asking, “Why do you think I’m here and not there?” to signal your disagreement.
Rewriting the Narrative One Interaction at a Time
The way we handle these conversations matters. By being honest, culturally curious, and respectful, we can challenge stereotypes and show that not all Americans are the same. Adaline Kuroki, a digital nomad and founder of Savor and Soak, believes that travelers have the power to redefine how Americans are perceived. “We can absolutely show that Americans can be culturally curious and respectful,” she says. While it’s impossible to control how others view your nationality, you can control how you represent yourself. So the next time someone asks, “Where are you from?” embrace the opportunity to share your story—and maybe even change someone’s mind about what it means to be American.
